Adulting with ADHD
Good morning
Eyes
Eyes won’t open
The morning is too heavy
My blanket weighs as much as my to-do lists
My to-do lists weigh as much as my eyelids
And I misplaced them
My eyelids, that is,
‘Cause now I can’t stop seeing
Back to, good morning
Pills
I’ll eat them for breakfast
And come alive
Or maybe live less
Depending on how well I digest them
Sometimes I forget to eat
Sometimes I eat three breakfasts
Now say that word three times fast
Breakfasts
Breakfasts
Breakfasts
But not around me
I don't have patience for the Ss
And I’m probably saying it wrong
Back to, good morning
Day
My days aren’t linear, they’re more like a seesaw
Or a swing
No
A seesaw and a swing
Up and down and back and forth and round and round
And and and, and and and
What a shame I “always do things the hard way,”
Do I like stress
Because I self medicate with cortisol
Or because I work better under pressure
They trained me to be like this
I couldn’t do it right unless they yelled
A chorus of raised voices
That's how annoying I am
So go ahead, join the party, I can take it
Back to, good morning
Memories
My memories are not linear
They're more like magnets
The strongest ones first, followed by the rest
Some run away from me
Often in the form of words
I remember where I left BLANK
But I don't know where it went
They walk away, I guess
Like keys
And wallets
And cellphones
They know when they’re needed
So they
hideinplainsight
That’s how I live now
hideinplainsight
Because I know people will smell it on me
The pile of wrongness I built my self-confidence on
hideinplainsight
Even with a diagnosis
I can't stop asking
What’s wrong with me?